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Hello, I'm new to this community.  Long story short, I was… - body_discussion [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|05:17 pm]
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[fattyfarm]

Hello, I'm new to this community.  Long story short, I was nearing 200 lbs at one point.  I got down to about 125 at another point.  I'm back up to 145 now.  

I like to post mostly reflections of my experience, so if this is inappropriate in any way I apologize.


<lj-cut text="A Picture is Worth a Thousand Calories">

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Calories

Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight can tell you the satisfaction they feel when comparing a "fat" picture and a "thin" picture.  Yet, what happens when you only have your "thin" pictures?

True, you're thinner than you were at one point.  You look better than you did all those pounds ago.  Yet, something about all these "thin" pictures is still unsettling.  You still look fat!  It can't be right!  You've lost all that weight and kept it off.  When you look in the mirror, you see an attractive woman standing in front of you.  Yet, something in that flash and shutter has transformed you from a pretty princess to a dumpy demon.  They say the camera adds 10 lbs, but could it have added 20?

While it's partially true that the transformation from 3D to 2D takes its toll on us all, the real truth is that when we look in the mirror, we see what we want to see.  Our eyes focus on one feature at a time, not on our bodies as a whole.  When we're feeling sexy, we see that  curve that moves out from our bust, in to our waist, and back out to our hips, forming a perfect hour glass.  We see how beautifully our smile lifts up our cheeks and brightens our eyes.  We see how long and sexy our legs look in those high heeled shoes.

Yet, something completely different happens when we're feeling down and we look in the mirror.  That sexy hourglass suddenly becomes way too wide, that smile makes our crow's feet stand out, and those high heels suddenly remind us of how short and stumpy our legs really are.  This is similar to what happens when we see a photograph.  Now we can see how we really look.  The cloud of confidence is no longer tunneling our vision to those two or three good features we have.  We see ourselves as a whole; the way others see us. 

That's when depression kicks in.  What fools we've been!  Here we were, all this time, thinking we were hot stuff!  How embarrassing!  What awful things people must have said about us!   How could this be?! 

It's that cold, hard, painful realization that we all come to:

"Thinner than before" does not mean "thin." 

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: estrella_trash
2008-03-10 09:58 pm (UTC)
i can understand where you are coming from and your frustrations because i've had my own battles with E.D. but i think at some point you must start to focus solely on the positives or you will just continue to be unhappy all the time. now, i'm sure you are an attractive person. you may not think that you are "thin" but someone who is larger than you certainly thinks so. it's all prespective and it's too much work to worry about how other people see you.
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